our ties that bind
stretch weightless

we daze
suspended in transit

the stranger sun grins
bright

fight
eyes-closed closed-eyed, fight

promise me
the morphine end

"eventually the birds must land
EVENTUALLY THE BIRDS MUST LAND!"

this i heard today,
and i laughed hard, so-hard hard,
propelling a flock of worries to the sky
as birds drifted home every minute.

"He never let his children forget that there had been no one to help him as he helped them, so that no matter how well Sudha did, she felt that her good fortune had been handed to her, not earned."

- excerpt, Only Goodness, Jhumpa Lahiri

If I had to do a 20 word summary of tonight, it would be:

A Night of Microbiology, Amelie, and Boon Tong Kee
Results in An Evening of Driving and a Serendipitous Turn of Events.

Life... hilarious! and beautiful, and scary, and wild, and mindblowing.
and now back into the breeze

:)

there is a sea deep within,
it is getting harder to ride out the storms,
and i am a little scared.

it is unnatural,
but life is fair,
mathematically cold,
always fair.

it just occurred to me that i never actually mentioned outright what i am doing now,
which is medical school.
are you surprised? sometimes i am.
how is medical school and what is it like?
it is like yersinia pestis. you hang on tight and hope to survive... with craig kelly as your copilot

i think,
my insecurities have less to do with academic work-related stresses per se,
and more to do with my perceived effectiveness as a future doctor.
but who knows what's in this head of mine;

i need to get back in the swing of things,
i.e. in the swing of optimism,
because frankly, i am struggling as a conquered pessimist.
i need to start tackling my rollercoasters with
salt and sunshine and laughter,
all as per normal,
oyster worlds, worlds of oysters.

♥

i want to be in boston right now to watch PASSION PIT at the middle east tomorrow,
soooooooooooooo badly. SOOOOO BADLY!!!!!!

but life has all these other narcoleptic plans for me tonight,
on the other side of the earth... AHHHHHHH

psychiatry is kind of rocking my world,
but michael angelakos is pure sex, passion and oomph.
the two just can't compare. xx

i miss giving a fuck about something,
anything

well hello, i am back! 2009, here we go.

my final exam for this semester is this friday,
and i am struggling, struggling to keep my eye on the prize!!!!

hello god,
i am so clueless.

____

i was looking for a mix tape and instead unearthed a whole holy bunch of maps today:
mainly of petersburg and budapest (?why),
praha, mongolia, the paris arrondissements, milano, marseille the pits,
all these train receipts and museum tickets and tram billets,
little beetles and rocks and shells and wooden mexican turtles,
postcards from and to and letters back and forth
like big salt, like hazy dreams

trigger huge trigger --
sennaya ploshad; petropavlovskaya krepost; vasilyevski ostrov; ploshad vostaniya; moscovski vokzal; ligovski prospekt, fontanka; ulitsa dekabristov; sadovaya ulitsa; park pobedi; kazanski sabor; novolenino; sorok; orlik; hoito-yro; mondi; siudyanka; dostoevskaya-vladimirskaya; letnii sad; pankow; eberswalder strasse; ernst-reuter platz; alexanderplatz; schonbrunn; wiener prater; riesenrad; stare miasto; hlavni nadrazi; petrinska rozhledna...

and of course i found a really big one of krakow
and my heart swelled
with big salt, hazy dreams.

____

oh 2008 you disappear too fast
half my year in ecstacy and half my year in _______